سيد قطب و فكر التكفير

Posted by Ali Reda | Posted in | Posted on 11/19/2012

رغم أن سيد قطب فى فكره كان ضد الدولة الدينية  كما قال في "معالمه": "ومملكة الله في الأرض لا تقوم بأن يتولى الحاكمية في الأرض رجال بأعيانهم -هم رجال الدين- كما كان الأمر في سلطان الكنيسة، ولا رجال ينطقون باسم الآلهة، كما كان الحال فيما يُعرف باسم الثيوقراطية أو الحكم الإلهي المقدس!! ولكنها تقوم بأن تكون شريعة الله هي الحاكمة، وأن يكون مرد الأمر إلى الله وفق ما قرره من شريعة مبينة"
الا إنه كفر المجتمع ودعى للهجرة وفرقة الجماعه
* التكفير: كفَّر سيد قطب عامة المسلمين (والبشرية كافة) بمن فيهم المؤذنين الذين يرددون (لا إله إلا الله) على المآذن، ولو قدموا الشعائر لله وحده في نصوص كثيرة في أكثر من واحد من آخر مؤلفاته.
     فقال في كتابه "في ظلال القرآن" الجزء الثاني صفحة (1057): "ارتدت البشرية إلى عبادة العباد وإلى جور الأديان، ونكصت عن لا إله إلا الله، وإن ظل فريق منها يردد على المآذن: لا إله إلا الله".
     وقال سيد قطب في كتابه في ظلال القرآن، الجزء الثاني صفحة (1057): "البشرية عادت إلى الجاهلية وارتدت عن لا إله إلا الله، البشرية بجملتها بما فيها أولئك الذين يرددون على المآذن في مشارق الأرض ومغاربها كلمات لا إله إلا الله بلا مدلول ولا واقع، وهؤلاء أثقل إثما وأشد عذابا يوم القيامة أنهم ارتدوا إلى عبادة العباد من بعد ما تبين لهم الهدى ومن بعد أن كانوا في دين الله".
     وقال سيد قطب في كتابه "معالم في الطريق" صفحة (101): "يدخل في إطار المجتمع الجاهلي تلك المجتمعات التي تزعم لنفسها أنها مسلمة، لا لأنها تعتقد بألوهية أحد غير الله، ولا لأنها تقدم الشعائر التعبدية لغير الله، ولكنها تدخل في هذا الإطار لأنها لا تدين بالعبودية لله وحده في نظام حياتها..".
     وقال في كتابه "في ظلال القرآن" الجزء الثاني صفحة (1492) طبعة دار الشروق: "الذين لا يفردون الله بالحاكمية في أي زمان وفي أي مكان هم مشركون لا يخرجهم من هذا الشرك أن يكون اعتقادهم أن لا إله إلا الله مجرد اعتقاد ولا أن يقدموا الشعائر لله وحده".
     وقال سيد قطب: "من الشرك الواضح الظاهر، الدينونة (لغير الله) في تقليد من التقاليد، كاتخاذ أعياد ومواسم يشرعها الناس ولم يشرعها الله، والدينونة في زي من الأزياء يخالف ما أمر الله به من الستر ويكشف أو يحدد العورات التي نصت شريعة الله أن تستر" وذلك في كتابه "في ظلال القرآن" الجزء الرابع صفحة (2033) طبعة دار الشروق.
     وقال سيد قطب: "إنه ليست على وجه الأرض دولة مسلمة ولا مجتمع مسلم قاعدة التعامل فيه هي شريعة الله والفقه الإسلامي"، وذلك في كتابه "في ظلال القرآن"، الجزء الرابع صفحة (2122) طبعة دار الشروق.
     وفي مقابل إطلاقه أوصاف الجاهلية والردة والشرك على كل المسلمين (حكام ومحكومين) ولو اعتقدوا أن لا إله إلا الله، وأدوا شعائر العبادة لله وحده، بسبب ارتكابهم صغائر الذنوب أو المباحات باتخاذهم أعيادا ومواسم وأزياء وعادات وتقاليد ونظم حياة لم يشرعها الله.
     وقد قال النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم: "حق العباد على الله ألا يعذب من لا يشرك به شيئا" متفق عليه.
     * والهجرة والاعتزال: كانت النتيجة المنطقية والعملية لتكفير سيد قطب جميع المسلمين في هذا العصر (قادتهم وشعوبهم) الدعوة إلى هجر جماعة المسلمين واعتزال مساجدها في قوله: "لا نجاة للعصبة المسلمة في كل أرض من أن يقع عليها العذاب إلا بأن تنفصل عقيديا وشعوريا ومنهج حياة، عن أهل الجاهلية من قومها حتى يأذن الله لها بقيام دار إسلام تعتصم بها، وإلا أن تشعر شعورا كاملا بأنها هي الأمة المسلمة وأن ما حولها ومن حولها ممن لم يدخلوا فيما دخلت فيه؛ جاهلية وأهل جاهلية" وذلك في كتاب "في ظلال القرآن" الجزء الرابع صفحة (2122).
     وهذه دعوة صريحة إلى هجر جماعة المسلمين والاستعلاء عليهم والتعصب لفرقة منهم
     وقال سيد قطب في تفسير قول الله تعالى: {واجعلوا بيوتكم قبلة}: "يرشدنا الله إلى اعتزال معابد الجاهلية (المساجد) واتخاذ بيوت العصبة المسلمة مساجد تحس فيها بالانعزال عن المجتمع الجاهلي"، "في ظلال القرآن" الجزء الثالث صفحة (1816) طبعة دار الشروق.
     وَصَفَ سيد قطب بيوت الله في بلاد المسلمين اليوم بأنها "معابد الجاهلية"، ووصفها فيما سيأتي بأنها "مساجد الضرار" وأوصى أتباعه باعتزالها والصلاة في البيوت مخالفا صريح الكتاب وصحيح السنة وسبيل المؤمنين القدوة، قال الله تعالى: {في بيوت أذن الله أن ترفع ويذكر فيها اسمه}.


يقول سيد قطب: ليست مهمتنا أن نصطلح مع هذا المجتمع الجاهلى ولا أن ندين له بالولاء فهو بهذه الصفة الجاهليةغير قابل لأن نصطلح معه. إن أولى الخطوات فى طريقنا هى أن نستعلى على هذا المجتمع الجاهلى وقيمه وتصوراته وألا نعدل من قيمنا وتصوراتنا قليلا أو كثيرا لنلتقى معه فى منتصف الطريق. كلا إننا واياه على مفترق الطريق وحين نسايره خطوة واحدة فإننا نفقد المنهج كله ونفقد الطريق. لقد آن الأوان لأن يقدم كل إنسان مسلم رأسه ثمنا لإعلان وجود حركة إسلامية وتنظيم غير مصرح به قام لإقامة نظام إسلامى أياكانت الوسائل التى سيستخدمها لذلك.

Woody Allen's Standup Comedy Acts

Posted by Ali Reda | Posted in | Posted on 11/15/2012


Private Life


This is my third night here, I haven't been here in about eight months now, was the last time I was here, and since I was here last, a lot of significant things have occured in my private life, that I thought we could go over tonight and evaluate.
I moved, let me start right at the very beginning, I formerly lived in Manhattan, uptown east in a brownstone building, but I was constantly getting mugged and assaulted and...sadistically beaten about the face and neck. So I moved into a doormanned apartment house on Park Avenue, that's rich and secure and expensive and great, and I lived there for two weeks, and my doorman attacked me.

I don't know what else has happened...Oh I know, I became a corporation since I was here the last time. Last year I had difficulty with my income tax. I tried to take my analyst off as a business deduction, y'know. The government said it was entertainment, y'know, we compromised finally and made it a religious contribution. I formed a corporation this year, and I'm the president, my mother is vice president, my father is secretary and my grandmother is treasurer, my uncle is on the board of directors, and they got together the first week, and they tried to squeeze me out. I formed a power block with my uncle and we sent my grandmother to jail.

I went to NYU myself, I was a philo-major there, too. I took all the abstract philosophy courses in college, like truth and beauty, advanced truth and beauty, intermediate truth, introduction to God, Death 101. I was thrown out of NYU my freshman year, I cheated on my metaphysics final in college, I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me. They threw me out, and my mother, who is a really sensitive woman, when I got thrown out of college, she locked herself in the bathroom and took an overdose of Mahjong tiles.

I was in analysis, you should know that about me, I was in group analysis when I was younger, 'cause I couldn't afford private...I was captain of the latent paranoid softball team. We used to play all the neurotics on sunday morning. Nailbiters against the bedwetters, and if you've never seen neurotics play softball, it's really funny. I used to steal second base, and feel guilty and go back.

Also, I have a cousin, that my parents loved more than me, that really destroyed me. Ah, I have a boy cousin that went through four years of college and became a mutual fund salesman, and he married a very thin girl from the neighbourhood, who had her nose lifted by a golf pro, y'know...(bok) Hit it and just...hooked up over her head, and they moved to the suburbs and they have all kinds of status symbols, they have their own home and stationwagon and fire insurance and life insurance and mutual funds and his wife has orgasmic insurance or something. If her husband fails to satisfy her sexually, Mutual of Omaha has to pay her every month.

I don't know what else to tell you about myself, I was a writer and an actor, I was a television writer and, ah, I wasn't an actor, I was in acting class. We did a play in acting class by Paddy Chayefsky called "Gideon", and I played the part of God, in "Gideon". It was typecasting. It was method acting, so two weeks beforehand, I started to live the part offstage, y'know. I really came on God, there, I was really fabulous, I put on a blue suit, I took taxi cabs all over New York. I tipped big, 'cause he would have. I got into a fight with a guy, and I forgave him. It's true. Some guy hit my fender and I said unto him...I said, "Be fruitful and multiply", but not in those words.




Brooklyn


Ahm, and listen, I've been up here for a while and I don't know how many out there noticed, but I do not have what you call a 'stock theatrical sun tan', I'm redheaded, and fairskinned and when I go to the beach, I don't tan, I stroke. I never used to go to the beach, 'cause I come from Brooklyn, we only had Coney Island, which was an awful beach, though there was rumours during the war, that enemy submarines, German subs came into the bathing area at Coney Island, and they were destroyed by the pollution.
And the only time I bathed was with Mrs. Allen, I guess, my wife, the dread Mrs. Allen. Honeymooning, I was fabulous, you would have adored me. I was on waterskis, stripped to the waist, skiing fast across the top of the surf, my hair back, I oiled my muscle. It was really... holding on with one hand, waterskiing, very great, my wife was in the boat ahead of me, rowing frantically. I got a very bad burn, really, I was thinking, when I was a kid, I was ashamed of having red hair, 'cause I lived in a tough section, I lived in a sub-basement walk-down, ah, under street level, janitor-style, ah, the janitor, that had the apartment during the depression, had some stocks, the market crashed, and he was wiped out, he tried to kill himself by jumping out the window and UP unto street level.

I was the sensitive kid, poet. There were tough kids in my class, there was a kid in my class named Floyd. Floyd used to sit in the dumb row in school, y'know. Vegetable mentality, y'know. I made friends with him years later when we got older, I removed a thorn from his paw. Once, I was on my way for my violin lesson when I was a kid, and I'm walking past the pool room, and Floyd and all of his friends are out, y'know, they're swiping hubcaps, in Brooklyn, from moving cars, which is really...amazing. And I walk past him, and he yells out to me, "Hey, Red!". I was a cocky kid. Put down my violin. I go up to him. I said "My name is not Red. If you want me, call me by my regular name, It's Master Heywood Allen". I spent that winter in a wheelchair. A team of doctors laboured to remove a violin. Lucky it wasn't a cello.




The Army


I'm not a fighter. I, ah, I have bad reflexes, and I can't fight. I was once run over by a car with a flat tire, being pushed by two guys. And I was not in the army, in case you were wondering. I was in the canine corps. Strange story, when I was young, I wanted a dog, and we had no money, we were very... my father at that time was a caddie at a miniature golf course in Brooklyn, y'know. I couldn't get a dog, 'cause it was too much, and they finally opened up in my neighbourhood, in Flatbush, a damaged pet shop. They sold damaged pets at discount, y'know, you could get a bent pussycat if you wanted, a straight camel, y'know. I got a dog that stuttered. When the cats would give him a hard time, he would go "B-b-b-b-bow wow", y'know. He'd turn all red, y'know. We wanted to send him into the army, but the papers got crossed up, and they got me instead of him. I was in the canine corps for two weeks. Me and eleven dogs was the outfit. Taught me how to heel. Sergent was a little mexican hairless, y'know. I was not in the regular army. I was classified '4P' by the draftboard, we went to war, I'm a hostage.



Pets


When I was little boy, I wanted a dog desperately, and we had no money. I was a tiny kid, and my parents couldn't get me a dog, 'cause we just didn't have the money, so they got me, instead of a dog - they told me it was a dog - they got me an ant. And I didn't know any better, y'know, I thought it was a dog, I was a dumb kid. Called it 'Spot'. I trained it, y'know. Coming home late one night, Sheldon Finklestein tried to bully me. Spot was with me. And I said "Kill!", and Sheldon stepped on my dog.



My Grandfather


Wanted to flash this watch, I flash it all the time. It's my antique pocket watch, and it makes me look British, and I need that for my analysis. It is a georgeous gold pocket watch, however, and I'm proud of it. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch. My grandfather was a very insignificant man. At his funeral, his hearse followed the other cars. It was a nice funeral, you would have liked it, it was a catered funeral. It was held in a big hall with accordion players, and the buffet table was a replica of the deceased in potato salad.



My Marriage


I wanted to discuss my marriage, 'cause that's important. My marriage, or as it was known, "The Oxbow Incident". I had a rough marriage. Well, my wife was an immature woman and, ah, That's all I can say, she...See if this is not immature to you: I would be home in the bathrroom, taking a bath, and my wife would walk right in, whenever she felt like, and sink my boats. It was partially my fault that we got divorced, I had a lousy attitude toward her. The first year of marriage I had a bad att...basically a bad attitude toward her, I guess. I tended to place my wife underneath a pedestal all the time.
We used to argue and fight, we finally decided, we either take a vacation on Bermuda or get a divorce, one of the two things, and we discussed it very maturely, and we decided on the divorce, 'cause we felt we had a limited amount of money to spend, y'know. A vacation in Bermuda is over in two weeks, but a divorce is something that you'd always have. And I saw myself free again, living in the Village, y'know, in a batchelor apartment with a wood burning fireplace and a shaggy rug, y'know, and on the walls one of those great Picassos by Van Gogh, and just great swinging...Airline hostesses running amok in the apartment, y'know. And I got very excited, and I ran into my wife, she was in the next room at the time, listening to Conelrad on the radio, y'know. I laid it right on the line with her, I came right to the point, I said "Quasimodo, I want a divorce".

And she said "Great, get the divorce", but it turns out, in New York state, they have a strange law that says you can't get a divorce unless you can prove adultery, and it's weird, because the ten commandments say "Thou shalt not commit adultery", but New York state says you have to. Well, finally, what happened was, my wife comitted adultery for me. She's always been more mechanically inclined than I have.




Bullet In My Breast Pocket


Years ago, my mother gave me a bullet...a bullet, and I put it in my breast pocket. Two years after that, I was walking down the street, when a berserk evangelist heaved a Gideon bible out a hotel room window, hitting me in the chest. Bible would have gone through my heart if it wasn't for the bullet.



N.Y.U.


I used to go to New York University a long time ago, which is in Greenwich Village, that's where I started, and I was, ah, in love in my freshman year, but I did not marry the first girl that I fell in love with, because there was a tremendous religious conflict, at the time. She was an atheist, and I was an agnostic, y'know. We didn't know which religion not to bring the children up in. And I bummed around for a long time, and I met my wife, and we got married against my parents' wishes, we were married in Long Island, in New York, we were married by a reformed rabbi in Long Island, a very reformed rabbi, a nazi.
It was a very nice affair, y'know, really good, and right after the wedding, my wife started turning weird. She went to Hunter College, and she got into the philosophy department at Hunter, and she started dressing with black clothes and no make-up, and leotards, y'know, and she pierced her ears one day with a conducters punch, y'know. And she used to involve me in deep philosophical arguments, and then prove I didn't exist, y'know...infuriating. And I had to let her go, was what happened, and I had to tell my parents about it. And my parents are what you used to call 'old world'. My parents come from Brooklyn, which is the heart of the old world. They're very stable down-to-earth people, who, ah, don't approve of divorce. Their, their...their values in life are God and carpeting.

I came home on a sunday, this was a long time ago, my father's watching television sunday night, he's watching Ed Sullivan Show, on television, he's watching the Indiana Home for the Criminally Insane Glee Club on the Ed Sullivan Show. And my mother is in the corner, knitting a chicken, y'know. And I'd said that I would have to get a divorce, my mother put down her knitting, and she got up, and she went over to the furnace, and she opened the door, and she got in. Took it rather badly, I felt.




A Love Story


Gonna tell a love story now, 'cause you have background material on me. Ah, this occurred before I was married, a long time ago, out in Manhattan, I was in Manhattan. I was at City Center, this was ages ago, I was watching a ballet at City Center, and I'm not a ballet fan at all, but they were doing the dying swan, and there was a rumour, that some bookmakers had drifted into town from upstate New York, and that they had fixed the ballet. Apparently there was a lot of money bet on the swan to live. And I look at the box, and I see a girl, and my weak spot is women, ah, so I always think someday they're gonna make me a birthday party, and wheel out a tremendous birthday cake, and a giant, naked woman is gonna leap out of the cake and hurt me and leap back in the cake.
So I pick up this girl, I was very glib, and she was a brilliant girl, she was a Bennington girl, studying at Bennington to be a woman male nurse at a four-year program, working on a term paper on the increasing incidents of heterosexuality amongst homosexuals. The girl was a swinger, however, I must....The girl was brought up in Darien, Conneticut, and when she was younger, she had a little brother about six years old, eight years...his parents sent the kid to military school. And while he was there, he stole jam or something, and they caught him, and they wanted to do things right, 'cause it was military school, so they held a court martial there. They found the kid guilty. They shot him. They returned to his parents half the tuition.

Meanwhile, I was running amok with his sister, his sister was fabulous, she was a great, great, blonde, and she had tatooed on the inner surface of her thigh, the words 'Bird lives', which, unfortunately, I was never privileged to see in the relationship, but had it been printed in Braille, I would have had a great thing going with her. We used to go up to her apartment late at night, and all her beatnik friends would be sitting crosslegged on each other there, and they would be trying to make opium out of the poppies given out by veterans on street corners. She used to plug in her twelve and a half dollar hi-fi set, y'know, with the teakwood needle, and put on the record albums on of Marcel Marceau, y'know, just....

She crushed me, I...Every time I tell the story, I'm reminded...I was what you would call, not a intellectual, up to her...she was...I was thrown out of college, and when I was thrown out of college I got a job on Madison Avenue in New york, a real dyed-in-the-wool advertising agency on Madison Avenue, wanted a man to come in, and they pay him ninetyfive dollars a week, and to sit in their office, and to look jewish. They wanted to prove to the outside world, that they would hire minority groups, y'know. So I was the one they hired, y'know. I was the show jew at the agency. I tried to look jewish desperately, y'know. I used to read my memos from right to left all the time. They fired me finally, 'cause I took off too many jewish holidays.




The Police


I have never in my life had difficulty with the cops. I had difficulty with the cops, that's not...no actually I didn't have difficulty with the cops. I was once sitting home in my house, and a lot of cars pulled up around the house. They shined in searchlights, and I heard a voice over the loudspeaker say "We have your house surrounded. This is the New York public library" They wanted their books back, y'know, and the little librarian was lobbing grenades over the house. I came out with my hands up, y'know, kicking the book ahead of me. They took me down to the main branch on Fifth Avenue in New York, and they took away my glasses for a year.
And I was thinking, when I lived in my apartment in the brownstone building in New York, we were constantly getting robbed all the time. It was a very big feature of the neighbourhood, y'know. Guys would break in and steal, and my apartment was robbed about four times in two years, y'know, it really got to be a bad thing, and I didn't know what to do about it, so finally I put on my door, a little blue and white sticker that said "We gave". Figure that would end it brilliantly, but it didn't, 'cause a man in my building, Mr. Russo was held up late at night, two very big guys got him with a bottle and a stick in the lobby, y'know, and they wanted all his cash, and Russo like a jerk tried to sign for it for tax purposes, whatever it is, y'know. They hit him with tremendous shot across the frontal lobe, y'know, real smack in the head, and he fell to the lobby in a fetal position, y'know. He lay there until his lease ran out, y'know. He's never been the same since the smack in the head, y'know. He smiles a lot now. He laughs out of context occasionally. He's not as perceptive as the average tree stump, y'know.

Everybody in the building panicked, they said that I'm small and that I should go and build myself up, in case I get into trouble, I could defend myself, so I went to Vic Tannings, this was a long time ago, I went for three weeks, and I lifted and I bent and I squatted. Nothing happend to me at all, y'know, nothing grew or anything, and I figure it's ridiculous, why don't I forget about it and give Vic Tanning the cash., and I ask him if he'll walk me home nights.

However, there is a kid in my building, a little odd kid named Leon, and Leon takes karate lessons. Leon is always walking with his hand cocked at a right angle, like this, y'know, and everyone said that I should learn Judo, 'cause I'd be an animal, but Judo to me has always been a thing of the bigger your opponent is, the bigger the beating he is gonna give you, y'know. And then my good friends told me, in the back of Esquire magazine, you can send away for a fountain pen that shoots teargas. It's a real fountain pen, and it secretes a gaseous billow, y'know, really great pen, seven and a half dollars. I send away. It comes in the mail, two weeks later in a plain brown wrapper, y'know. I unscrew it, I put in the teargas cartridges (pop), I clip it in my breast pocket, y'know (click), I go out, a long time ago this was, some friends of mine had a surprise autopsy, and I'm invited for the evening, y'know.

I'm coming home by myself, two o'clock in the morning, and it's pitch black and I'm all alone, and standing in my lobby is...a neanderthal man, with the eyebrow ridges, y'know, and the hairy knuckles like this, y'know. He had just learned to walk erect that morning, I think. Came right to my house in search of the secret of fire, y'know. A tree-swinger in the lobby at two o'clock in the morning. A mouth breather looking at me, like (breathes heavily), y'know. I took my watch out and I dangled it in front of him, y'know, 'cause they're mullified by shiny objects sometimes. He ate it. I tried to impress him and I backed off and I pulled out my teargas pen, and I pressed the trigger, and some ink trickled down my shirt. I made a mental note to call Esquire and tell them 'cause, I'm standing in the lobby, two o'clock in the morning, y'know, with a product of a broken home, y'know. I had a fountain pen in my hand, I tried writing on him with it, y'know. He came for me, and he started to tapdance on my windpipe, so very quickly, I lapsed into the old Navajo Indian trick of screaming and begging.

I get into an amazing amount of, ah, physical encounters for someone my size. About thirteen weeks ago, I had my shoes shined against my will. Tremendous shoeshine boy, said to me "I'm shining your shoes". "Yes you are" I said. He did give me an execellent shine though, I might add, but they were suede shoes.




Down South


I was down south once, and I was invited to a costume party, and I rarely go to them, I went to one when I was younger. I went in my underwear shorts, and I have varicose veins. I went as a roadmap. And I figure, what the hell, it's Halloween, I'll go as a ghost. I take a sheet off the bed and I throw it over my head, and I go to the party. And you have to get the picture, I'm walking down the street in a deep southern town, I have a white sheet over my head. And a car pulls up and three guys with white sheets say "Get in". So I figure there's guys going to the party, as ghosts, and I get into the car, and I see were not going to the party, and I tell them. They say "Well, we have to go pick up the Grand Dragon". All of a sudden it hits me, down south, white sheets, the Grand Dragon, I put two and two together. I figure there's a guy going to the party dressed as a dragon.
All of a sudden a big guy enters the car, and I'm sitting there between four clansmen, four big-armed men, and the door's locked, and I'm petrified, I'm trying to pass desperately, y'know, I'm saying "Y'all" and "Grits", y'know, I must have said "grits" fifty times, y'know. They ask me a question, and I say "Oh, grits, grits". And next to me is the leader of the cla... you can tell he is the leader, 'cause he's the one wearing contour sheets, y'know. And they drive me to an empty field, and I gave myself away, 'cause they asked for donations, and everybody there gave cash. When it came to me, I said "I pledge fifty dollars". They knew immediately. They took my hood off and threw a rope around my neck, and they decided to hang me.

And suddenly my whole life passed before my eyes. I saw myself as a kid again, in Kansas, going to school, swimming at the swimming hole, and fishing, frying up a mess-o-catfish, going down to the general store, getting a piece of gingham for Emmy-Lou. And I realise it's not my life. They're gonna hang me in two minutes, the wrong life is passing before my eyes. And I spoke to them, and I was really eloquent, I said "Fellas, this country can't survive, unless we love one another regardless of race, creed or colour". And they were so moved by my words, not only did they cut me down and let me go, but that night, I sold them two thousand dollars worth of Israel Bonds.




Summing Up


In summing up, I wish I had some kind of affirmative message to leave you with, I don't. Would you take two negative messages? My mother used to say to me when I was younger, "If a strange man comes up to you, and offers you candy, and wants you to get into the back of his car with him...go".
Good night.




The Vodka Ad


Let me start at the very beginning. I did a vodka ad, that's the first important thing. A big vodka company wanted to do a prestige ad, and they wanted to get Noël Coward originally for it. He was not available, he had aquired the rights to My Fair Lady, and he was removing the music and lyrics, make it back into Pygmalion. They tried to get Laurence Olivier, and Howdy [Mokey?] - they finally got me to do it. I'll tell you how they got my name, it was on a list in Eichmann's pocket, when they picked him up. And I'm sitting home, and I'm watching television. I'm wathcing a special version of Peter Pan on television, starring Kate Smith, and they are having trouble flying her, 'cause the chains keep breaking all the time, y'know. And the phone rings and a voice on the other end says "How would you like to be this years vodka man?", and I say "No. I'm an artist, I do not do commercials. I don't pander. I don't drink vodka and if I did, I would not drink your product." He said "Too bad. It pays fifty thousand dollars." and I said "Hold on. I'll put Mr. Allen on the phone."
And I was caught here in an ethical crisis. Should I advertise a product that I don't actually use? It's a problem 'cause I'm not a drinker, my body won't tolerate...eh...spirits, really. I had two martinis new years eve and I tried to hi-jack an elevator and fly it to Cuba. In the past whenever I had any sort of...eh...emotional problem, I used to consult with my analyst all the time. This is public knowledge, I was in analysis for years, 'cause of a traumatic childhood I had. Remember I was breastfed from falsies. It scarred me emotionally, y'know. I was in a strict freudian analysis for a long time. My analyst died two years ago, and I never realized it, and now, whenever I have any sort of problem, I consult with my spiritual counselor, who in my case is my rabbi. I called him on the phone and laid the proposition on him, and he said "Don't do it, 'cause it's illegal and immoral to advertise a product that you don't use, just for the money." And I said "Okay", and I passed the ad up and I must say, that it took great courage at the time, 'cause I needed the money, I was writing and I needed to be free, creative. I was working on a non-fiction version of the Warren report.

I'd just passed the ad up and a month later I'm leafing through a Life magazine, and I see a photograph of Monique van Vooren in a slim bikini bathing suit, and she is on the beach in Jamaica, and there, next to her, with a cool vodka in his hand, is my rabbi. So I call him up on the phone, y'know, and he puts me on hold. What happened is, that he wanted to go into showbusiness - he had done a late night prayer on television. He was in the middle of the twentythird song and he tried to ad-lib, y'know, tried to name the ten commandments, couldn't think of them quickly and instead he named the Seven Dwarfs. He's got a discoteque now in his college, with topless rabbis, y'know, no scullcap on.




Vegas


I addition to my vodka ad, I also played Las Vegas for the first time. Y'see I'm not a gambler, you should know that about me. I went to the racetrack once in my life and I bet on a horse called Battle Gun, and when all the horses come out, mine is the only horse in the race with training wheels. You have to believe me when I say, that there is something seductive about me, when I shoot crap. And I'm at the crap table, I'm...dicing. A very provocative woman comes up to me, and she begins to...size me up...and I take her upstairs to my hotel room. Shut the door. Remove my glasses. Show her no mercy. I unbutton my shirt, and she unbuttons her shirt. And I smile. She smiles. I remove my shirt and she removes her shirt. And I wink and she winks. And I remove my pants. She removes her pants. And I realize I'm looking into a mirror.



Second Marriage


Which I think brings me to my main...conclusion here, that is that I got married, that's the biggest thing that's happened to me over the last... I got married for the second time, incidentally. I should have known something was wrong with my first wife, when I brought her home to meet my parents, they approved of her, y'know, - my dog died, that's what happened. I got to be careful what I say about her publicly now, 'cause she's sueing me. I don't know if you read that in the paper or not, but I'm getting sued because I made a nasty remark about her..she. She didn't like it, she lives on the upper west side of Manhattan, and she was coming home late at night, and she was violated. That's how the put it in the New York papers: "She was violated", and they asked me to comment on it, and I said "Knowing my ex-wife, it probably was not a moving violation."
Let me tell you how I met my second wife, which is really...romantic. I read an article in Life magazine saying there was a sexual revolution going on on college campuses all over the country, and I reregistrated at New York University to check it out, 'cause I used to go there years ago, I was a history of hygiene major at NYU, and I was thrown out of college, and when I was thrown out I got a job. My father had a grocery store in Flatbush Avenue in Brooklyn, and he hired me to work for him. I was a delivery boy for my father, that was my first job, and I unionized the workers and we struck and drove him out of business. He's always been touchy about it.

Now, when I went back to school, suddenly everybody wanted to fix me up with women. And I have had a very bad history with blind dates. You must not misunderstand me - believe it, sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five it's fantastic. I was very depressed about that for a long time. I was gonna kill myself, but as I said, I was in a strict freudian analysis, and if you kill yourself, they make you pay for the sessions you miss. So I accept this date. First blind date in years, I go to a fourth floor walk-up, and then knock on the door, and this girl comes to the door, and she is absolutely beautiful, but really terrific, great long blond hair, and a short skirt and boots and a sleeveless jersey, and she is packed into it. When I see her look that beautiful, I wanna...cry, write a poem, jump on her. I'm very sensitive, y'know. She asked me what I wanted to do, and I'm not a swinger. My idea of a big evening is go down to the corner roticimat and watch the chickens revolve, y'see.

I take her to a party on McDougle Street in Greenwich Village. We go into a smokedfilled room, and I do not use - you should know this about me, too - any sort of consciousness expanding material. My body will not tolerate that. Y'know I took a puff of the wrong cigarette at a fraternity dance once, and the cops had to get me, y'know. I broke two teeth trying to give a hickie to the Statue of Liberty. The party begins to move downstairs now, unto the street, and everybody is playing bongoes and guitars, and a cop on horseback comes up to me, and he puts his arm around me. He says to me "Are you one of those draftcard burners?" And I say "No, I'm not. I never registered, I don't have a draftcard." Now a little girl feeds, what look like a cube of sugar, to the policemans horse. The horse showed up at a sit-in in Georgia. Now I decide to strike. I get my date, and I jam her into my Hertz. I have a rented car, which is a flat rate 12 cents a mile, in an effort to cut down on the mileage charge, I back up every place. So I'm backing over the George Washington Bridge.

That was two o'clock in the morning, and I get my date back to her apartment, and the two of us are alone, and we're going pretty good. I have to explain this very delicately, 'cause it's really tentative. As I... as I am an inordinately...passionate...man. Volatile. Sensual. In general a stud. When making love...when making love...in an effort...to prolong...the moment of ecstacy...I think of baseball players. All right, now you know. The two of us are making love violently, she's digging it, I figure I better start thinking of ballplayers quickly. So I figure it's one out, the ninth, the Giants are up. Mays lines a single to right, he takes second on a wild pitch. Now she is digging her nails into my neck. I decided to pinch-hit for McCovey. Alou pops out. Haller singles, Mays holds third. Now I got a first-and-third situation. Two out, the Giants are behind one run. I don't know whether to squeeze or steal. She's been in the shower for ten minutes, already. This is too...I can't tell you anymore, this is too personal. The Giants won.

And I married the girl, incidently, and had a very good wedding, except for my father, who squatted down and did one of those russian dances, see, and tore a leg muscle and froze in that position. Walked down the aisle like that, y'know.




The Great Renaldo


Listen to this. I was watching one night the Ed Sullivan Show, and Sullivan had on a hypnotist called The Great Renaldo. And Renaldo got four guys up of the audience, and he hypnotized them, and he said to them "You think you are a fireengine". And I'm home watching and I get drowsy and I fall asleep. And I wake up an hour later, I turn the set off, and suddenly I am seized with an uncontrolable impulse to dress up in my red flanel underwear. Which I do, and I'm looking at myself in the mirror. Suddenly the phone rings, I burst out the front door and start running down Fifth Avenue fast, making a sirene noise. At Fourteenth Street I hid a guy at an intersection, who was also wearing red flanel underwear. We decided to work as one truck. We start running down to the Village. Suddenly two guys in red flanel underwear pass us running uptown. We figured, they must know where the fire is. We turned and followed. At Eightysixth Street a cop flaggs us down, 'cause there is four guys in red flanel underwear running in the street. He said "You'er coming down to headquarters, get into the car." I start giggling hysterically, 'cause this jerk is trying to get a fireengine into a lousy little chevvy. And down at the station there is hundreds of guys in red flanel underwear.



Mechanical Objects


These... I should just add, parenthetically, these stories are true. These things actually happened to me. I don't make them up. My life is a series of...of...eh...these crises that...that eh... I came home one night, some month ago, and I went to the closet in my bedroom, and a moth ate my sports jacket. He was laying on the floor, nauseous, y'know. It was a yellow and green striped jacket, y'know. The little fat moth laying there, groaning, y'know, part of a sleeve hanging out of his mouth. I gave him two plain brown socks. I said "Eat one now and eat one in a half hour."
Someone asked me if I would tell this...story. A long time ago... It's a wierd story. 'Twas out in Los Angeles and I was at a party with a very big Hollywood producer, and at that time he wanted to make an elaborate cinemascope musical comedy out of the Dewey Decimal System. And they wanted me to work on it, and I go out to the producers building in downtown Los Angeles,and I walk into his elevator, and there are no people in the elevator, no buttons on the wall or anything. And I hear a voice say "Kindly call out your floors, please." And I look around, and I'm alone. And I panic, and I read on the wall, that is a new elevator and it works on a sonic principle and it all sound. All I have to do is say what floor I wanna got to, and it takes me there. So I say "Three, please", and the doors close and the elevator starts going up to three. And on the way up I began to feel very selfconscious, 'cause I talk, I think, with a slight New York accent, and the elevator spoke quite well. I get out of it, and I'm walking down the hall, and I look back, and I thought I heard the elevator make a remark. I turned quickly and the doors closed and the elevator goes down, y'know, and I...didn't wanna get involved at the time with an...elevator in Hollywood, but - this is the strange part of the story, the other was the normal part - I have never in my life had good relationships with mechanical objects of any sort. Anything that I can't reason with or kiss or fondle, I get into trouble with. I have a clock that runs counter-clockwise for some reason. My toaster pops up my toast and shakes it, burns it. I hate my shower. I'm taking a shower, and somebody in America uses his water. That's it for me, y'know, I leap from the tub scolded. I have a tape recorder, I payed a hundred and fifty dollars for, and as I talk into it, it goes "I know, I know."

About three years ago I couldn't stand it anymore. I was home one night. I called a meeting with my posessions. I got everything I owned into the living room. My toaster, my clock, my blender. They never been in the living room before. And I spoke to them. I opened with a joke. And then I said "I know what's going on, and cut it out!" I have a sun lamp, but as I sit under it, it rains on me. And I spoke to each appliance, I was really articulate. Then I put them back, and I felt good. Two nights later I'm watching my portable television set, and the set begins to jump up and down, and I go up to it. And I always talk before I hit, and I said "I thought we had discussed this, what's the problem?" And the set kept going up and down, so I hit it, and it felt good hitting it, and I beat the hell out of it. I was really great, I tore off the antenna, and I felt very virile. And two days later I go to my dentist in New York. I had gone to my dentist, but I had a deep cavity, and he'd sent me to a chiropodist. I'm going into a building in mid-town New York, and they have those elevators, and I hear a voice say "Kindly call out your floors, please", and I say "sixteen" and the doors close and the elevator starts going up to sixteen. And on the way up the ellevator says to me "Are you the guy that hit the televison set?" I felt like an ass, y'know, and it took me up and down fast between floors, and it threw me off in the basement. It yelled out something that was anti-semetic.

The upshot of the story is, that day I called my parents, my father was fired. He was technologically unemployed. My father had worked for the same firm for twelve years. They fired him. They replaced him with a tiny gadget, this big, that does everything my father does, only it does it much better. The depressiong thing is, my mother ran out and bought one.




The Moose


I shot a moose, once. I was hunting up-state New York, and I shot a moose, and I strap him on to the fender of my car, and I'm driving home along the west side highway, but what I didn't realize was, that the bullet did not penetrate the moose. It just creased the scalp, knocking him unconscious. And I'm driving through the Holland tunnel - the moose woke up. So I'm driving with a live moose on my fender. The moose is signaling for a turn, y'know. There's a law in New York state against driving with a conscious moose on your fender, tuesday, thursday and saturday. And I'm very panicky, and then it hits me: some friends of mine is having a costume party. I'll go, I'll take the moose, I'll ditch him at the party. It wouldn't be my responsibillity.
So I drive up to the party and I knock on the door. The moose is next to me. My host comes to the door. I say "Hello. You know the Solomons". We enter. The moose mingles. Did very well. Scored. Two guys were trying to sell him insurance for an hour and a half. Twelve o'clock comes - they give out prices for the best costume of the night. First price goes to the Burcowiches, a maried couple dressed as a moose. The moose comes in second. The moose is furious. He and the Burcowiches lock antlers in the living room. They knock each other unconscious. Now, I figured, is my chance. I grab the moose, strap him onto my fender, and shoot back to the roads, but - I got the Burcowiches. So I'm driving along with two jewish people on my fender, and there's a law in New York State ... tuesdays, thursdays and especially saturday.

The following morning the Burcowiches wake up in the woods, in a moose suit. Mr. Burcowich is shot, stuffed and mounted - at the New York Athletic Club, and the joke is on them, because it's restricted.




Kidnapped


I was kidnapped once. I was standing in front of my schoolyard, and a black sedan pulls up. And two guys get out, and they say to me, do I wanna go away with them to a land, where everybody is fairies and elves, and I can have all the comic books I want and chocolate and wax lips, you know. And I said "yes", y'know, and I got into the car with them, 'cause I figured, y'know, "What the hell", I was home that week-end from college anyhow, y'know. They drive me off, and they sent a ransom note to my parents. And my father has bad reading habits, so he gets into bed at night with the ransom note, and he read half of it, y'know, and he got drowsy and fell asleep, then he lent it out, y'know.
Meanwhile they take me to New Jersey, bound and gagged, and my parents finally realize that I'm kidnapped. They snap into action immediately: they rent out my room. The ransom note says for my father to leave a thousand dollars in a hollow tree in New Jersey. He has no trouble raising the thousand dollars, but he gets a hernia carrying the hollow tree.

The FBI surround the house, "Throw the kid out,", they say, "give us your guns, and come out with your hands up."
The kidnappers say "We'll throw the kid out, but let us keep our guns, and get to our car."
The FBI says "Throw the kid out, we'll let you get to your car, but give us your guns."
The kidnappers say "We'll throw the kid out, but let us keep our guns - we don't have to get to our car."
The FBI says "Keep the kid."

The FBI decides to lob in teargas, but they don't have teargas, so several of the agents put on the death scene from Camellia. Tearstricken my abducters give themselves up. They are sentenced to fifteen years on a chaingang, and they escape, twelve of then chained together at the ankle, getting by the guards posing as an immense charm bracelet.




Unhappy Childhood


I was talking about this on TV last week. I escape always into a rich fantasy life, that comes from an unhappy childhood. I come from a poor family. My father worked at Coney Island. He had a consession on the boardwalk, where you knock over milk bottles with baseballs, which I could never do for my entire childhood. There was a tidal wave at Coney Island, when I was a child, ripped up the boardwalk and did about a million dollars worth of damage, houses and everything. The only thing left standing was those little milk bottles, y'know.

I was, I would say, overdiciplined which is really humiliating. I had to be home nine thirty, prom night. I made a reservation at the Copa Cabana for five o'clock. I took my date and we wathced them set up. I was, as a matter of fact, when I think of it, terrorised as an adolescent. I was not that young when it happened, I was...eh...I guess about thirteen or so at the time, and was on my way to an amateur music contest. And, my family is musical, you should know that, my father used to play the tuba as a young man, he tried to play the tuba, he tried to play "Flight of the Bumblebee", and blew his liver out through the horn.

Now I'm on the subway with my clarinet [jewish?] jazz musician style, unwrapped and everything, and these twelve guys come running through the subway. Really hairy-knuckled types, y'know, raced through there. Apparently they just come from a settlement house, y'know' as they were dribbling a social worker as they went through the car. They stop right over me, y'know, because I was conspicous, 'cause I had just eaten a sea-food lunch, I had forgotten to remove the lobster bib, y'know, so I looked like a farmer with a fat tie, y'know, with Neptune on it. They stand over me, they start cursing and smoking and tearing up seats, y'know. I don't say anything, y'know, I just sit there, look down, continue reading 'Heidi'. All of a sudden the leader puts his finger under my neck, like this, and goes feeww. I got up. He snapped his knee up, quickly, and I refused to give him the satisfaction of doubling over, but I did one of the greatest imitations of Lily Ponds, you've ever heard. I hit an M over high C and I'm being [????]. Showed up an hour late for the music contest. Came in second anyhow. I won two weeks at Interfaith Camp, where I was sadistically beaten by boys of all races and creeds.




The Science Fiction Film


I wrote a science fiction film which I'll tell you about. It's ten after four in the afternoon, and everybody in the world mysteriously falls asleep. Just like that, they are driving cars, whatever they are doing, bang!, they got to sleep, the Russians, the Chinese, the Americans, and the whole world sleeps for exactly one hour, till ten after five, and they wake up at ten after five, and mysteriously upon awakening everybody in the world find themselves in the pants business.
Stay with us, 'cause it's brilliant.

Everybody is making cuffs and flies and cutting velvet, y'know, And a spaceship lands from another planet, and men get out with jackets and shirts and black socks - no trousers at all. They say: "Are the pants ready?" We say: "No. Could you come back thursday?". They say they must have them, 'cause they are going to a wedding, and we work dillingently and make pants constantly and they come to get them, and when they come to pick them up, they leave us with socks, hankerchiefs, pillowcases and soiled linnen, and they say: "Do it!", and the president of the United States goes on television and says that an alien superpower from outer space with superior intelligence is bringing us their laundry, and they are foiled, 'cause they travelled a hundred and seventeen million lightyears to pick it up, and they forget their ticket.




Eggs Benedict

I had once a pain in the chestal area. Now, I was sure it was heartburn, y'know, 'cause at that time I was married and my wife cooking with her nazi recipies, y'know, chicken Himmler. I didn't wanna pay twentyfive bucks to have it reaffirmed by some medic, that I had heartburn. But I was worried 'cause it was in the chestal area. Then it turns out my friend, Eggs Benedict, has a pain in his chestal area, in the same exact spot. I figured if I could get Eggs to go to the doctor, I could figure out what was wrong with me, at no charge, so I con Eggs. He goes. Turns out he's got heartburn. Cost him twentyfive dollars, and I feel great, 'cause I figured I beat the medic out of twentyfive big ones, y'know. Called up Eggs two days later - he died. I check into a hospital immediately, have a battery of test run and x-rays. Turns out I got heartburn. Cost me a hundred and ten dollars. Now I'm furious. I run to Eggs' mother, and I say: "Did he suffer much?" And she said: "No, it was quick. Car hit him and that was it."




Oral Contraception

I must pause for one fast second and say a fast word about oral contraception. I was involved in an extremely good example of oral contraception two weeks ago. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, and she said "No".




European Trip

I have been in Europe for the last six months making a film called What's New Pussycat, starring Peter O'Toole and Peter Sellers and myself, in that order, and it's the first time in my life, that I ever acted in anything like that. I have acted before, but I don't count it, many many years ago I was the nursery school play, when I was a child. I played the part of Stanley Kowalski in the school play of A Streetcar Named Desire, and I was one of the great five years old Stanleys. And..I wrote the film, and it's an autobiographically movie. It's based on the experiences of a great ladies man and I ... you're laughing? ... it so happens, on my honeymoon night my wife stopped in the middle of everything to give me a standing ovation.

Yes, as a matter of fact, you should know the etymology of how I got to Europe in the first place, which is fascinating. I was appearing in Greenwich Village at a coffee house in Bleeker street called the Integration Bagle Shop and Flea Parlor. I was the master of ceremonies on the bed, y'know, and I was on with real Greenwich Village acts, y'know, myself and an eskimo vocalist, who sang Night and Day six months at a time. A little blond girl with a child by a future marriage, y'know, [???] and in walks one night mr. Feldman, our producer, and he just adored me on sight. He thought I was attractive and sensual and good-looking, y'know, and just made for motion pictures. He is a little short man with red hair and glasses. And he asked me if I ever wrote anything before, and I have been a televison writer for years, and I wrote a three-act versed tragedy about a vetenarian faith healer, who restored speech to a parrot, y'know, and I also wrote a short story about my first year of marriage, which Alfred Hitchcock showed interest in for a while. And he flies me out to Europe, absolutely all expenses paid, TWA flight, y'know, movie on the flight and everything. Irene Dunne in The Life of Emelia Earhart, y'know, ... sitting shaking on the plane, y'know.

And I meet a girl at my European analyst's. I have to explain this: I was going to a European analyst, that meant a European boy can see my analyst for six months, y'know. The neurotic exchange program. And I invite her up to my hotel. I get all ready for our dinner date, y'know, I anoint myself completely, I beat my body with auto wrenches. I throw an ample light on me, to make me look really effective. Two little backlights to give me the illusion of three dimensions, a baby spot to pick out the brown in my eyes, and I put on my mood music records, y'know, my Arthur Godfrey Hawaiian music. She had invited me over to her place, but I didn't want to log the lights and everything, y'know, so...and...oh! I didn't dress properly, this was partially my fault, I know how to dress better now, but I was not a good dresser a short while ago. You don't wear argyle with dark blue. I had on dark blue socks and an argyle suit. I looked like a farmer, y'know, and my radiator breaks and the hotel room is absolutely freezing, and I'm ashamed, y'know, because she is going to come into a cold room, so I go into the bathroom and I turn on the hot water in the shower, which is an old Brooklyn trick to heat the apartment, and hot water comes down and billows of steam come into the living room. And icecold air is seeping in under the windowsill and the two fronts meet in the living room, and it starts to rain in my hotel room. I'm standing there in the rain, and I did not do well with the girl.

Europe for me, as a matter of fact, was a series of near misses. I was at a cast party with our cast, and I was in the corner and I was playing the vibes, very sexy like a jazz musician - up and down. And a great girl comes up behind me, really elaborate, and she says to me "You play vibes?" I say "Yeah, it helps me sublimate me sexual tensions." She says "Why don't you let me help you sublimate your sexual tensions.", so I figured "Great", y'know, "here's a girl who plays vibes." I turned quickly and asked her out for a date, but Peter O'Toole, who's in the movie, asked her out first - aces me out, y'know - and she was a beautiful girl, so I said to her "Could you bring a sister for me?", and she did: Sister Maria Teresa. It was a very slow night, y'know. We discussed the New Testament, y'know. We agreed that He was extremely well adjusted, for an only child.




The Lost Generation

I mentioned before that I was in Europe. It's not the first time that I was in Europe, I was in Europe many years ago with Ernest Hemingway. Hemingway had just written his first novel, and Gertrude Stein and I read it, and we said that is was a good novel, but not a great one, and that it needed some work, but it could be a fine book. And we laughed over it. Hemingway punched me in the mouth.

That winter Picasso lived on the Rue d'Barque, and he had just painted a picture of a naked dental hygenist in the middle of the Gobi Desert. Gertrude Stein said it was a good picture, but not a great one, and I said it could be a fine picture. We laughed over it and Hemingway punched me in the mouth.

Francis Scott and Zelda Fitzgerald came home from their wild new years eve party. It was April. Scott had just written Great Expectations, and Gertrude Stein and I read it, and we said it was a good book, but there was no need to have written it, 'cause Charles Dickens had already written it. We laughed over it, and Hemingway punched me in the mouth.

That winter we went to Spain to see Manolete fight, and he was... looked to be eighteen, and Gertrude Stein said no, he was nineteen, but that he only looked eighteen, and I said sometimes a boy of eighteen will look nineteen, whereas other times a nineteen year old can easily look eighteen. That's the way it is with a true Spaniard. We laughed over that and Gertrude Stein punched me in the mouth.

Good night.

القضاء والقدر وأفعال العباد

Posted by Ali Reda | Posted in | Posted on 8/06/2012

شكرا لملهمتى لولاها ما فهمت

الله عدل لذا فالحساب استوجب الاراده الحرة لحتى يكون لاختبار الله والحساب معنى , ولكن كيف تستقيم فكرة العقل المخير مع كون علم الله يقينى شامل وقديم (من قبل الخلق), فربنا يعلم ماكان وما سيكون ومالم يكن كيف كان سيكون (مثل قصة الخضر)؟؟ .
ربنا يعرفنا حق المعرفة لأنه من خلقنا ووضع فينا من نسب المشاعر والعقل والاخلاق والصفات (البرنامج الى بيحرك تصرفاتنا) وده عشان الإختبار الى إحنا فيه فى الدنيا بيختلف من شخص لأخر فلابد إننا نتقبل البرنامج دهو نتقبل الاختبار  ونشتغل على أساسه بس الاختبار ده ميبقاش عادل إلا لو فى اراده حرة نستطيع أن نقاوم بها هذا البرنامج ان أخطأ وإلا تكون تجربة مؤلمه من اله قاسى عارف نتيجة الاختبار مسبقا واحنا مجبورين على اختيارتنا نتيجة برنامجنا الثابت الذى لا نستطيع تغييره ولكن لو فى حرية اراده يبقى اختياراتك هى التى تحدد نتيجة الاختبار وكون ربنا عارف نتيجة الاختبار مسبقا علما يقينيا شاملا هى من خواص قدرة الله

كل فعل مقسم لمشيئة وتنفيذ
1) المشيئة : فإن الجبر لا يكون محضًا ، وأن الاختيار لا يجوز أن يكون مطلقاً ، بل الحق التوسط بين الرأيين فلا منافاة بين كون العبد محدثًا ومختارا لفعله (مخير) ، وكون هذا الإحداث ضمن مشيئة الله وإرادته وبعلمه القديم السابق (مجبر). العبد فى منزلة بين الإثنين وجمع الجبر مع التفويض والتسيير مع التخيير هى من خواص قدرة الله (المجهول الأكبر الى بدون حل)
2)التنفيذ : أن كون الله سبحانه و تعالى خالقًا لأفعال العباد ، لا يعني أن فعل العبد هو نفس فعل الله ففعل العبد يخلقه الله ، ويفعله العبد ، ويكسب آثاره العبد

فتبقى الخطوات :
1) ربنا يعلم حدوث الفعل بعلمه الأزلى
2) ارادتك تشاء تنفيذ الفعل
3) ربنا يشاء تنفيذك للفعل
4) ربنا يخلق الفعل (يعطيك القدرة أنك تفعله )
5) أنت تكسب الفعل (تباشر الفعل وتنفذه)

الأشاعرة فصلوا بين الكسب و تنفيذ الفعل لانه خاف أن يفهم التنفيذ على أنه خلق وكده يبقى فيه خالقين للفعل فبكده العبد مالوش تأثير حتى فى التنفيذ وده يقربهم من الجبرية شوية وعشان كده مفهوم الكسب عند الأشاعره غامض, أهل السلف جمعوهم وهم الأصح

من كتاب مصطفى محمود
"فأفعالك معلومة عند الله في كتابه، ولكنها ليست مقدورة عليك بالإكراه.. إنها مقدَّرة في علمه فقط.. كما تقدِّر أنت بعلمك أن ابنك سوف يزني.. ثم يحدث أن يزني بالفعل.. فهل أكرهته.. أو كان هذا تقديراً في العلم وقد أصاب علمك" بس كده وسكت عشان متهربش منه

بعد ما فكرت لقيت فى اختلافات بين المثالين تجعلنا لا نربط بينهم:

1) إن توقعى نسبة صحته أقل من 100% ولكن توقع رب العالمين 100% والنتيجة إنى فى الأول أقدر أخرج عن التوقع ده ولكن فى التانى مقدرش أخرج عن التوقع ده أبدا أيا كان عندى اراده حرة أة معنديش لأن النتيجة محتومة فبكده تساوى تأثير إنى عندى إراده حرة بإنى لو معنديش يبقى فعليا معنديش أو عندى وهم الإراده الحرة, باختصار علم الله شامل فخرج من التوقع للعلم اليقينى وكونه علم يقينى لا يتغير يتعارض مع كون ارادتى حره

2) الاب توقع نتيجة الاختيار لو حدث الموقف ولكن حدوث الموقف نفسه خارج توقعه لذا فتوقعه شرطى وليس شامل, رب العالمين يعلم نتيجة الاختيار ويعلم حدوث الموقف معرفة يقينية لذا فتوقعه شامل وحدوث الموقف يترتب على الاختيارات التى قبله وبالتالى فتلك الاختيارات لابد وان تحدث سواء كان عندى اراده حرة أة معنديش لأن النتيجة محتومة فبكده تساوى تأثير إنى عندى إراده حرة بإنى لو معنديش يبقى فعليا معنديش أو عندى وهم الإراده الحرة

سبب الخلق
سبب الخلق من ناحيتنا اننا نعبد وما (خلقت الجن والإنس إلا ليعبدون) لأننا عندنا اراده حره من ناحية حتستوجب إننا نحاسب من اله عادل وسبب الخلق من ناحية ربنا الى هو سبب الاختبار  غير معلوم ( إني أعلم ما لا تعلمون) لأنه جل وعلى مش محتاج عبودتنيا لأن احتياجه نقص ونعالى ربنا عن كل نقص

يبقى كده فى حاجتين لا يصل لهم عقل
1) سبب الاختبار الالهى لنا اذا كانت النتيجة معلومة
2) التوفيق بين كوننا اصحاب اراده حرة كون ربنا يعلم النتيجة علما مسبقا
3) وطبعا من أين أتى الله

Aristotale Metaphysics

Posted by Ali Reda | Posted in | Posted on 7/04/2012

Heraclitus argued that things that appear to be permanent are in fact always gradually changing. Therefore, though we believe we are surrounded by a world of things that remain identical through time, this world is really in flux, with no underlying structure or identity. By contrast, Parmenides argued that we can reach certain conclusions by means of reason alone, making no use of the senses. What we acquire through the process of reason is fixed, unchanging and eternal. The world is not made up of a variety of things in constant flux, but of one single Truth or reality. Plato’s theory of forms is a synthesis of these two views. Given, any object that changes is in an imperfect state. Then, the form of each object we see in this world is an imperfect reflection of the perfect form of the object. For example, Plato claimed a chair may take many forms, but in the perfect world there is only one perfect form of chair.


Aristotle encountered the theory of forms when he studied at the Academy, which he joined at the age of about 18 in the 360s B.C.[4] Aristotle soon expanded on the concept of forms in his Metaphysics. He believed that in every change there is something which persists through the change (for example, Socrates), and something else which did not exist before, but comes into existence as a result of the change (musical Socrates). To explain how Socrates comes to be born (since he did not exist before he was born) Aristotle says that it is ‘matter’ (hyle) that underlies the change. The matter has the ‘form’ of Socrates imposed on it to become Socrates himself. Thus all the things around us, all substances, are composites of two radically different things: form and matter. This doctrine is sometimes known as Hylomorphism (from the Greek words for matter and form).
Aristotle's sense of God was unacceptable to Christians, Muslims, and Jews. Although Plato's concept of a God who created from pre-existent matter was also unacceptable, it was far more palatable to monotheists than was Aristotle's Unmoved Mover, who did not create the world. Indeed, it could not have created the world because, argued Aristotle, the world is eternal, without beginning or end. Aristotle insisted that the material world could not have come into being from another material entity, say B. For if it did, one would have to ask from whence did B come? Such an argument would lead to the absurdity of an infinite regression, prompting Aristotle to argue that the world has always existed, an interpretation that posed further problems for Muslims and Christians. Consistent with his assumption of an eternal world, Aristotle regarded creation from nothing as impossible.

    one genus (Family): A plane figure.
    two differentiae(Set of conditions):
        the differentia for a triangle: that has 3 straight bounding sides.
        the differentia for a quadrilateral: that has 4 straight bounding sides.

Note that the genus-species relation is relative. One may define "dog" as a species of the genus "animal", while "puppy" is a species of the genus "dog". Thus, whether "dog" is a species or a genus depends on context

Change :
    growth and diminution, which is change in quantity;
    locomotion, which is change in space; and
    alteration, which is change in quality.
Objective Of any Change is to increase its Form until you reach God's Form, which is all Form and No Matter

Categories places every object of human apprehension under one of ten categories (known to medieval writers as the praedicamenta), Of things said without any combination, each signifies either of substance are man, horse; of quantity: four-foot, fivefoot; of qualification: white, grammatical; of a relative: double, half, larger; of where: in the Lyceum, in the market-place; of when: yesterday, last-year; of being-in-a-position: is-lying, is-sitting; of having: has-shoes-on, has-armour-on; of doing: cutting, burning; of being-affected: being-cut, being-burned.

Substance is a combination of both matter and form , Socrates is a primary substance (Particular), while man is a secondary substance (Universal) and cannot exist by themselves. Man is predicated of Socrates, and therefore all that is predicated of man is predicated of Socrates.

Matter (substratum) : "that out of which" X is made, matter is "potentiality":M is X's matter if and only if M has the potential to be X. If bronze is a bronze sphere’s matter,the matter used to make a house has potentiality to be a house

X can both have matter and also be matter. Clay is the matter of bricks, but bricks in turn are the matter of a house. So bricks both have matter (clay) and are matter (for a house). The house's proximate matter is the bricks, and its non-proximate matter is the clay, because the bricks are closer to being a house than is the clay

Form, the builder has in mind the plan or design for a house and he knows how to build; he then “enmatters” that plan or design by putting it into the materials out of which he builds the house.the senses perceive an object by receiving its form. The senses receive such things as colors and flavors. Thus, forms include such properties as colors and flavors, not just shapes.the form is the design of the house, that allows matter to serve its purpose showing its essence (Form is the Cause of Being) and properties so Form is actuality and It prexists and it is for particular.

Essence (substantial form) of substance S consists of S's essential properties, the properties that S's substance needs in order to be the kind of substance that S is and it is definable so it is universal because only universals are definable, roundness is its essence. A Substantial Form can't exist without the matter.Example A Human Soul can't exist without the body.So Aristotle Denies the soul's immortality.

Accidental forms are S's non-essential properties, properties that S can lose or gain without changing into a different kind of substance.

actuality is prior to potentiality, So potential being musical comes from actual being musical.

“What makes two human beings two humans rather than one?” And his answer is that what makes Socrates distinct from his friend Callias is not their substantial form, which is the same, nor their accidental forms, which may be the same or different, but their matter. Matter, not form, is the principle of individuation



Unmoved Movers

The bare existence of change requires the postulation of a first cause, an unmoved mover whose necessary existence underpins the ceaseless activity of the world of motion”.the unmoved mover that causes the motion in the first heaven, the sphere of the fixed stars, is the unmoved mover referred to in Metaphysics 12.7; however, since there are celestial movements other than the rotation of outer sphere of fixed stars, there must be other unmoved movers, substances eternal and without magnitude. He required an individual unmoved mover for each sphere. According to Aristotle, there are fifty-five movements that require unmoved movers,the planets seek to imitate the perfection of the unmoved mover by moving about the Earth in a circle, the most perfect of shapes. For this to be the case, of course, the heavenly bodies must have souls capable of feeling love for the unmoved mover. “On such a principle,” Aristotle says, “depend the heavens and the world of nature.” In Book 12 (Greek "Λ") of hisMetaphysics, Aristotle describes the unmoved mover as being perfectly beautiful, indivisible, and contemplating only the perfect contemplation: itself contemplating. He equates this concept also with the Active Intellect.
Later Islamic scholars like aviciena by adding Neo-platonic emission idea, where able to show a relation between each of the unmoved movers, but limited them to 10 only.


First cause (Prime Mover)

 The Cosmological argument, later attributed to Aristotle, thereby draws the conclusion that God exists. However, if the cosmos had a beginning, Aristotle argued, it would require an efficient first cause, The purpose of Aristotle's cosmological argument, that at least one eternal unmoved mover must exist, is to support everyday change.[26]
Of things that exist, substances are the first. But if substances can, then all things can perish... and yet, time and change cannot. Now, the only continuous change is that of place, and the only continuous change of place is circular motion. Therefore, there must be an eternal circular motion and this confirmed by the fixed stars which are moved by the eternal actual substance substance that's purely actual.[27]
In Aristotle's estimation, an explanation without the temporal actuality and potentiality of an infinite locomotive chain is required for an eternal cosmos with neither beginning nor end: an unmoved eternal substance for whom the Primum Mobile[28] turns diurnally and whereby all terrestrial cycles are driven: day and night, the seasons of the year, the transformation of the elements, and the nature of plants and animals.


God

Is Eternal , All Form , All Perfect So he can't think about something Less Perfect and He Always Thinks about himself so He Doesn't know about Us (A Silent God) ,  Our World is imperfect but all substances work and Produce Change as a result of their love to God , so as time passes the world is going at a All Form World like God but which is Impossible because Matter won't disappear from our world.He is the first cause.

Soul

the soul must be the first actuality of a naturally organised body. This is its Substantial form or essence.According to Aristotle, a living thing's (proximate) matter is its body, which needs a soul in order to be alive. Similarly, a bronze sphere's (proximate) matter is bronze, which needs roundness in order to be a sphere.

Intelluct

the passive intellect is a property of the body (Responsible for Desires), while the agent intellect is a substance distinct from the body (Responsible for any common correct thinking like in Mathematics). we can interpret the agent intellect as a single divine being, Aristotle's God ,Because all (rational) human beings are considered by Aristotelians to possess or have access to a fixed and stable set of concepts, a unified correct knowledge of the universe. The only way that all human minds could possess the same correct knowledge is if they all had access to some central knowledge store.

Book III discusses the mind or rational soul, which belongs to humans alone. He argues that thinking is different from both sense-perception and imagination because the senses can never lie and imagination is a power to make something sensed appear again, while thinking can sometimes be false. And since the mind is able to think when it wishes, it must be divided into two faculties: one which contains all the mind's ideas which are able to be considered, and another which brings them into act, i.e. to be actually thinking about them. These are called the possible and agent intellect. The possible intellect is the store-house of all concepts, i.e. universal ideas like "triangle", "tree", "man", "red", etc. When the mind wishes to think, the agent intellect recalls these ideas from the possible intellect and combines them to form thoughts. The agent intellect is also the faculty which abstracts the "whatness" or intelligibility of all sensed objects and stores them in the possible intellect. For example, when a student learns a proof for the Pythagorean theorem, his agent intellect abstracts the intelligibility of all the images his eye senses (and that are a result of the translation by imagination of sense perceptions into immaterial phantasmata), i.e. the triangles and squares in the diagrams, and stores the concepts that make up the proof in his possible intellect. When he wishes to recall the proof, say, for demonstration in class the next day, his agent intellect recalls the concepts and their relations from the possible intellect and formulates the statements that make up the arguments in the proof.
The argument for the existence of the agent intellect in Chapter V perhaps due to its concision has been interpreted in a variety of ways. One standard scholasticinterpretation is given in the Commentary on De anima begun by Thomas Aquinas when he was regent at the studium provinciale at Santa Sabina in Rome, the forerunner of the Pontifical University of Saint Thomas Aquinas, Angelicum. Aquinas' commentary is based on the new translation of the text from the Greek completed by Aquinas' Dominican associate at Viterbo William of Moerbeke in 1267.[4] The argument, as interpreted by St Thomas Aquinas, runs something like this: in every nature which is sometimes in potency and act, it is necessary to posit an agent or cause within that genus that, just like art in relation to its suffering matter, brings the object into act. But the soul is sometimes in potency and act. Therefore the soul must have this difference. In other words, since the mind can move from not understanding to understanding and from knowing to thinking, there must be something to cause the mind to go from knowing nothing to knowing something, and from knowing something but not thinking about it to actually thinking about it.
Aristotle also argues that the mind (only the agent intellect) is immaterial, able to exist without the body, and immortal. His arguments are notoriously concise. This has caused much confusion over the centuries, causing a rivalry between different schools of interpretation, most notably, between the Arabian commentatorAverroes and St Thomas Aquinas[citation needed]. One argument for its immaterial existence runs like this: if the mind were material, then it would have to possess a corresponding thinking-organ. And since all the senses have their corresponding sense-organs, thinking would then be like sensing. But sensing can never be false, and therefore thinking could never be false. And this is of course untrue. Therefore, Aristotle concludes, the mind is immaterial.
Perhaps the most important but obscure argument in the whole book is Aristotle's demonstration of the immortality of the thinking part of the human soul, also in Chapter V. Taking a premise from his Physics, that as a thing acts, so it is, he argues that since the mind acts with no bodily organ, it exists without the body. And if it exists apart from matter, it therefore cannot be corrupted. And therefore the human mind is immortal.

Watergate

Posted by Ali Reda | Posted in | Posted on 6/24/2012

  1. Burglars tried to rob and install listening devices in Watergate complex "Democratic Party" but were captured, FBI following the money transferred to them from Committee for the Re-Election of the President, a fundraising group for the Nixon campaign from and also discovered the name of E. Howard Hunt in the address books of the Burglers.
  2. Bernstein learned that a $25,000 check for Nixon's reelection campaign had been deposited in the bank account of one of the burglars.  reported the check had been given to Maurice Stans,  the former Secretary of Commerce who served as Nixon's chief fundraiser.
  3. As the two reporters pursued the story, Woodward relied on Mark Felt, a high ranking official at the Federal Bureau of Investigation, as a confidential source. With access to FBI reports on the burglary investigation, Felt could confirm or deny what other sources were telling The Post reporters. He also could tell them what leads to pursue. Woodward agreed to keep his identity secret, referring to him in conversations with colleagues only as "Deep Throat." His identity would not become public until 2005, 33 years later. 
  4. Woodward and Bernstein scored a string of scoops, reporting that Attorney General John Mitchell controlled a secret fund that paid for a campaign to gather information on the Democrats.
  5. Judge Sirica read the court a letter from Watergate burglar and CRP Security Coordinator James McCord alleging that perjury had been committed in the Watergate trial, and that defendants had been pressured to remain silent.Trying to make them talk, Sirica gave Hunt and two burglars provisional sentences of up to 40 years.Committee deputy director Jeb Magruder told U.S. attorneys that he had perjured himself during the burglars' trial, and implicated John Dean (The White House Counsel) and John Mitchell.
  6. U.S. attorneys told Nixon that Haldeman, Ehrlichman, Dean and other White House officials were implicated in the coverup.
  7. John Dean begins cooperating with federal Watergate prosecutors
  8. Senior White house administration officials John Ehrlichman, H. R. Haldeman, and Richard Kleindienst resign; John Dean is fired.
  9. John Dean tells Watergate investigators that he has discussed the cover-up with Nixon at least 35 times.
  10. Alexander Butterfield, former presidential appointments secretary, reveals that all conversations and telephone calls in Nixon’s office have been taped since 1971.
  11. the United States Senate voted 77–0 to establish a select committee to investigate Watergate, with Sam Ervin named chairman the next day.
  12. The Listing mechanism in white houes recorded a tape "Smoking Gun" where Nixon was trying to plan to stop the investigation and he refused to release the tape until the Supreme court ruled to release them.
  13. Nixon Resigned and was pardoned by Ford.

What is The Logos ?

Posted by Ali Reda | Posted in | Posted on 6/24/2012


Heraclitus 

emphasized the unstoppable movement of nature. One cannot step in the same river twice; both the river and the self have changed since the first time. Nevertheless, he saw that change did not mean sheer chaos. Hence he found in the universe a rationality which is the Logos.

Plato 

believed that the world was capable of being known through a human rationality that corresponds to or participates in the rationality of the universe,i.e. The Logos is the Sum of Human Rationality The world soul (Anima mundi) is an intrinsic connection between all living things on the planet forming the Logos.

Stoics 

equates the Logos with God, so God is the Sum of Human Rationality.The soul of the universe, which is composed of many seminal logoi that are contained in the universal logos

Plotinus

Logos is the principle of meditation, the interrelationship between the Hypostases (Soul, Spirit (nous) and the 'One

Philo

Represented the Logos as the Hebrew word of God, as colored by the later idea of the divine Wisdom which is the Hand which god uses to intervene in the physcial world and results in all what is happening, so it is the relation between God and Man,being both the agent of creation and the agent through which the human mind can apprehend and comprehend God including Nature and Angels but His Problem was "Is the Logos Seperate from God or a Part of God??"

Christianity

The Logos is Christ

Android Hacking (The Complete Guide)

Posted by Ali Reda | Posted in | Posted on 1/30/2012

You do not need to root or unroot the device to update the firmware to update with a stock image
Firmware version: I9100XXKI3.
XX = Europe.
K = 2011.
I = September.
3 = Version.


Pda is the basic firmware, Phone is the modem responsible for wifi/2g/3g, csc is the country specific code - language files/apps etc. You shouldn't consider these as separate, they all combine to make a single firmware (which will have the pda code) ,Kernel is a (small) part of PDA. So flash PDA replaces the kernel. But you can flash kernel separately without changing the other parts of PDA.


Boot-loader: handles booting an OS from ROM,Motorola and HTC especially have been using signed bootloaders that are permanently locked. This means that only the company is able to send updates to the phone, and there is no way for the Android modding community to do so unless they find a way around these measures.


Rooting: A new Android phone runs everything as an unprivileged user to avoid non-tech-savvy users messing it up. Rooting enables access to the superuser mode. You gain full control over the phone, and can optimise settings to boost battery life, etc, but the biggest advantage is that you can add customised ROMs (which is called “flashing”) but adding stock ROM doesn't require rooting. It even enables you to control, at the baseband level, your phone’s telecom components.so you can install special apps which uses root privilege like Market Enabler

ADB: The Android Debug Bridge (ADB) provides an interface/command-line access to the OS from your PC. It’s bundled with the standard SDK package.

Flash: Flashing is writing something over ROM, derived from the ancient way of flashing chips by fusing components on the chip.
  1. Download the chosen ROM zip file and transfer it to the SD card.
  2. Reboot the mobile and enter recovery mode.
  3. Back up current ROM status, software and data. This is the most important thing to do, as you may end up bricking your phone without it — and remember, there is no recovery from bricking! Nandroid recovery is the name of the recovery file.
  4. Now clear the factory settings and other data, and the Dalvik cache as well.
  5. Next, install the new ROM from the zip file on the SD card.
  6. Reboot, and your job is done.


Nandroid or Nandroid Backup: Much like we back up OS images on PCs, Nandroid backs up an image of the phone’s current state, which can be used in case of errors like Boot Loop or ROM update failure.

Custom Recovery Program: Custom Recovery mode is a command-line interface, available before your current ROM is booted.it is equivalent to the BIOS of your computer. It provides access to basic low-level maintenance and recovery tasks. However, to gain full control over your Android phone, you need to wipe the stock recovery image, and flash a new recovery image to gain full control of your device’s administration.Examples of custom recoveries include: Amon Ra Recovery, ClockworkMod Recovery, etc.
RomManager is a root app which allows you to boot into the ClockworkMod Recovery Mod and install roms automatically


http://wiki.cyanogenmod.com/wiki/Samsung_Galaxy_S_II:_Full_Update_Guide
http://www.androidpolice.com/2010/05/08/complete-guide-how-to-flash-a-custom-rom-to-your-android-phone-with-rom-manager-full-backup-restore/